IT - Humor

This solution has nothing to do with a dress code

"User's brand-new laptop keeps going into standby mode at random, reports a pilot fish on the scene.

Local techs try replacing parts, updating the BIOS and everything else they can think of, but nothing improves the situation.

So someone decides to observe the user as she works - and sees that every time she moves her left hand past the corner of the laptop, the laptop drops into standby mode..."


Printer Not Found
ComputerWorld, February 4th, 2020
You'll be amazed at the things you'll see when you go up on the roof

"It's the '80s, and this consultant pilot fish gets sent out to see what's going on with a client who is complaining that files are printing days and even weeks after they were submitted. But not completely - only a page or two at a time.

Fish has plenty of things to check before giving serious consideration to the idea that there's a time portal hidden somewhere..."


Wayback Wednesday: Still Not Done
Computerworld, February 5th, 2020
And maybe never will be

This newly hired networking pilot fish is tasked by the almost-as-new IT director with helping to create a cohesive network for the company's 14 remote sites.

It's no small task. 'Each site had its own server and local email system,' says fish. 'Each site had 30 to 100 computer users on three shifts using 15 to 50 computers per site. And there were no corporate standards.'


We'd still be doing it the hard way?

"This pilot fish is fed up with manually dealing with backup problems. 'I had to reset the daemons database and put the tape back in the autoloader before the batch could rerun a failed backup,' he says.

The simple solution is to write a script that automatically checks everything involved in the backup and adjusts anything that's not right..."

See all Archived IT - Humor articles See all articles from this issue